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Yesterday I bought an airline ticket for my daughter Lindy.  After Leive and I made three visits to her place in Georgia, she will finally get to see the nice place we’re in.  She is scheduled to come her on Monday December 15 and fly back on Friday the 19th.  I’ll let everyone know when we plan anything else.

Tonight I got a call from my Dad in Florida with two bits of news.  First, he found the fancy silverware my mother had hidden; it sounds like they’ve been turning the house upside down for the past week over that.  Second, Linda, my eldest cousin, died in San Bernardino, CA, at the age of 55; I haven’t heard the cause yet.  She and I weren’t very close (I hadn’t seen her since the 1970s), but with all the deaths in the family over the past three years, it hurts nonetheless.

The relatives on the West Coast have had a really rough time over the past few years.  My uncle has Alzheimer’s, another cousin has ruined his health from substance abuse, and my youngest cousin is widowed.  You think you’ve got problems; well, if you could trade your problems for those of somebody else, you’d probably want your own problems back before long!

First of all, I ask a moment of silence for my mother, Linda E. Kimball.  She would have been 72 today.  At the top of this page is a link named “Linda Kimball’s Memorial Service,” which I attended last June; click it if you haven’t seen that page already.

On May 18 I posted the YouTube version of Monty Python’s infamous “Dead Parrot” sketch, to report the discovery of a fossil parrot in Denmark that could have been the unfortunate bird.  Now it turns out that John Cleese and Michael Palin weren’t as original as we (and perhaps they) thought.  Yesterday I read a story about the world’s oldest joke book, “Philogelos.”  Composed in the fourth century A.D., I gather that it wasn’t completely translated into English until now.  One of his jokes was very similar except that it had to do with a dead slave instead of a dead parrot.

Ancient Greeks pre-empted Dead Parrot sketch

One thing that “Philogelos” shows us is that human nature hasn’t changed much over the ages.  I remember getting a good laugh when reading Aristophanes, and I understand the jokes in “Philogelos” are still funny, if you understand the references included in some of them.  I found a page featuring six of the jokes on a Georgetown University website, all of them about dishonest fortune tellers:

No. 187: An ill-tempered astrologer cast the horoscope of a sick boy, promised his mother that he would live for a long time, then demanded his fee. “Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you then.” “But what happens to my fee if he dies in the night?”

No. 201: On returning from a trip, someone asked a charlatan prophet how his family was. “They are all well, especially your father.” “But my father’s been dead for ten years!” “Ah, clearly you do not know your real father.”

No. 202: Having cast a boy’s horoscope, a charlatan prophet predicted that he would be first a lawyer, then a city prefect, and finally a provincial governor. But the boy died. His mother came back and remonstrated, “My son has died, the one you said would be a lawyer and prefect and governor.” “I swear by his memory,” responded the prophet, “he would have been all of those things had he lived!”

No. 203: Someone went to a charlatan prophet and inquired if his rival would come back from a voyage. The prophet promised that he could not. But the man found out a few days later that he had come back. “Well,” said the prophet, “how shameless can you get?”

No. 204: A charlatan prophet cast a client’s horoscope and told him he could never have children. “But I’ve already got seven!” “Then you’d better take good care of them!”

No. 205: A charlatan prophet was captured by the enemy, and confessed his trade. Now it so happened that they were about to fight a battle. “You’ll win it,” he promised them, “as long as the enemy don’t see the hairs on the back of your heads.” (trans. B. Baldwin)

And finally, an update to what I wrote about Big Bone Lick, the state park in northern Kentucky that marks the birthplace of American paleontology.  Besides containing fossils from ice age mammals, ancient bones and tools at the site also show that Indians used to hunt and kill buffalo there.  Hmmm, I knew buffalo were once common on the Great Plains, but I didn’t know herds of them ever got this far east.

Archaeologists uncover bison hunt-kill site

Just a Dusting

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That’s what they call it around here when you get just a bit of snow, not enough to cover the ground.  And that’s what I saw when I looked out the window this morning.  The picture above shows the view from our kitchen window.  You can see snow on the patio table and surrounding boards & railings, but in the background you can also see that the grass is still green.  The snow which landed on the grass must have melted right away.

I went outside once to see the snow up close, and instead of being made of flakes, it seemed to be made of tiny white granules, more like sleet than the snow we’re familiar with.  You’ve probably heard how Eskimos have more than twenty words for “snow”; I think I’m beginning to understand why.  Anyway, it melted by noon, and though I don’t think it got above the low 40s for the rest of the day, the sky cleared up a bit, so no more snow fell down.  The rest of the week is forecast to be like that, temperatures in the 30s and 40s, but no more rain or snow is likely.

So, to any of the folks in Florida who are reading this, how’s the weather treating you?

Calvin Coolidge Quotes

Many of our presidents aren’t treated the same way by history as they are by popular opinion.  In other words, after they leave the White House, there’s a good chance we’ll think better or worse of them, compared with how we thought when they were in.  Harry Truman is probably the best example.  After he fired General MacArthur, he had an approval rating of only 25 percent in the polls (even lower then the 30 percent rating that we keep hearing for George W. Bush), but because he had to make several very tough decisions, like whether or not to drop the atom bomb on Japan, he is now seen as one of the best presidents of the twentieth century.  Along that line, I think after his presidency ends, Bush will be treated more kindly by historians, because he kept his promise to cut taxes (twice), and because he prevented a second terrorist attack like the one that struck on September 11, 2001.  To those who remember that grim day, did any of you think that we would go for seven years without a repeat of 9/11?  We have a similar case with Abraham Lincoln; during his presidency Democrats and Southerners treated him almost as badly as today’s Democrats treated Bush, until one of Lincoln’s opponents shot him, but now he is regarded as perhaps the best president we ever had.

The pendulum of opinion can swing the other way, too.  Warren G. Harding and Lyndon B. Johnson were very popular as presidents, but nowadays their performances look so bad that we wonder what the voters were thinking, when they elected these characters with landslides that buried their opponents.  I have a feeling that Bill Clinton will be rated downwards as well, once the day comes when we no longer have him or Hillary to kick around.

I am mentioning this because when I wrote the American history papers on The Xenophile Historian, I came to the conclusion that several presidents, notably James Polk, Chester Arthur and Grover Cleveland, are underrated to the point that the average American probably doesn’t remember anything about them.  I am now going to add Calvin Coolidge to that list.  He was the last president who actually cut spending and reduced the size of the federal government.  Not even Ronald Reagan, the most conservative president of my lifetime, could do that much.  The best he could do was slow down the rate by which spending increased (liberals think that was a “cut”), and while he and other conservatives have promised to get rid of the Department of Education, it hasn’t happened yet.  For this achievement, recently the historian Paul Johnson called Coolidge the “last president of the nineteenth century,” because big government was not in fashion before 1900.

Coolidge is also called “Silent Cal” for saying almost nothing in public, but when he had something to say, it was worth remembering.  I’m especially thinking of that after the recent election.  Because the Democrats won by their biggest margin in decades, and because of the current move to bail out failing banks and industries with federal funds, we’re probably going to see tremendous growth in both government and spending, growth at least as big as what we saw under LBJ’s “Great Society.”  From my point of view, it looks like a majority of the voters have rejected personal responsibility and “rugged individualism,” in favor of cradle-to-grave government protection.  Perhaps it is because I live just twenty miles from the fort of Daniel Boone, one of the most famous “rugged individualists” who ever lived.  If I am right, this election saw the ratification of a “Declaration of Dependence.”  Now that we seem to be turning into a European-style welfare state, I wonder who’s going to defend us in the future; the Chinese?

Anyway, here are some quotes from President Coolidge that are relevant to this issue.  Some of them are good for motivational lectures, too:

“Civilization and profit go hand in hand.”

“Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.”

“Don’t expect to build up the weak by pulling down the strong.”

“Duty is not collective; it is personal.”

“Economy is the method by which we prepare today to afford the improvements of tomorrow.”

“I have found it advisable not to give too much heed to what people say when I am trying to accomplish something of consequence. Invariably they proclaim it can’t be done. I deem that the very best time to make the effort.”

“If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.”

“Industry, thrift and self-control are not sought because they create wealth, but because they create character.”

“It is only when men begin to worship that they begin to grow.”

“Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers. It may not be difficult to store up in the mind a vast quantity of face within a comparatively short time, but the ability to form

judgments requires the severe discipline of hard work and the tempering heat of experience and maturity.”

“Little progress can be made by merely attempting to repress what is evil. Our great hope lies in developing what is good.”

“No enterprise can exist for itself alone. It ministers to some great need, it performs some great service, not for itself, but for others; or failing therein, it ceases to be profitable and ceases to exist.”

“No man ever listened himself out of a job.”

“Perhaps one of the most important accomplishments of my administration has been minding my own business.”

“Prosperity is only an instrument to be used, not a deity to be worshipped.”

“The business of America is business.”

“The government of the United States is a device for maintaining in perpetuity the rights of the people, with the ultimate extinction of all privileged classes.”

“The man who builds a factory builds a temple, that the man who works there worships there, and to each is due, not scorn and blame, but reverence and praise.”

“The nation which forgets its defenders will be itself forgotten.”

“The right thing to do never requires any subterfuge, it is always simple and direct.”

“There is no dignity quite so impressive, and no independence quite so important, as living within your means.”

“They criticize me for harping on the obvious; if all the folks in the United States would do the few simple things they know they ought to do, most of our big problems would take care of themselves.”

“Those who trust to chance must abide by the results of chance.”

“To live under the American Constitution is the greatest political privilege that was ever accorded to the human race.”

“Ultimately property rights and personal rights are the same thing.”

And here is a related, relevant quote from the great Christian author, C. S. Lewis:

“Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victim may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron’s cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated, but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.”

Because today is my anniversary, I was reminded of this joke about how Adam (the original Adam, not my son-in-law!) bargained with God for his wife:

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.”

“What’s the problem, Adam?”, God replies.

“Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I’m just not happy.”

“Why is that, Adam?”, comes the reply from the heavens.

“Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely.”

“Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a ‘woman’ for you.”

“What’s a ‘woman’, Lord?”

“This ‘woman’ will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you.”, replies the heavenly voice.

“Sounds great.”

“She will be, but this is going to cost you, Adam.”

“How much will this ‘woman’ cost me Lord?”, Adam replies.

“She’ll cost you your right arm, your right leg, an eye, and an ear.”

Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face. Finally Adam says to God, “What can I get for a rib?”

The rest, as they say, is history.

It has rained at least part of every day since I last talked about the weather.  It rained all of last night, for instance, and it’s wet outside now as I write this.  Thus, I believe the summertime drought is finally over.  On the way home from work, I took some pictures of trees in their fall color, which I’ll probably post soon.  Also, I’ll probably mow the lawn one more time for this year; will it be dry enough to do it tomorrow?

Today is our 23rd wedding anniversary.  There’s a fancy Mongolian barbecue restaurant in Hamburg Village that I’ve been wanting to try since it opened two years ago.  So far I’ve put it off because the parking lot is always full when I drive by the place.  However, I don’t think Leive will want to eat out in this weather.  Maybe we’ll go for my birthday instead.

Speaking of weather, the most interesting part is yet to come.  Yesterday morning it got up in the 60s (it even felt a bit too warm in the office for a while), but it was in the low 50s for the rest of the day.  When I woke up this morning it was 48, and it’s not going to get above that; now, at 10 AM, it’s 44.  Tonight it’s supposed to get cold enough for the rain to turn into snow.  We’ve got another college football game in town (University of Kentucky vs. Vanderbilt), and because it’s going to be broadcast on ESPN, it won’t start in the afternoon like the other games; kickoff is at 8 PM.  Oh, the things we have to do to get on TV!  Football games never get rained out, so if you watch this one, with the combination of rain and snow showers, you will see some very dedicated UK fans.

This seems to be the week for parrots, judging by the subject matter I have posted lately.  After I wrote yesterday’s message, I found two more parrot videos, and this time I wish I saw them before Election Day.  Remember when I said that if the animal kingdom could vote, Ralph Nader or Cynthia McKinney would beat the Democrats and Republicans to become the next president?  And then I joked that my parrot Brin-Brin probably favors the Green Party, because Amazon parrots are mostly green.  Well, now here’s a parrot named Cardozo who really likes that brand of politics.

Mind you, green may be my favorite color, but I don’t think I’ll ever vote green.  I’m on the conservative end of the spectrum, while the Greens are so far to the left, they’re almost off the political radar.  So don’t consider this message an endorsement for them or for Ralph Nader.  Now that the election is over, these videos are just for fun.

Anyway, in the first one the former Green Party candidate is seeking advice from Cardozo.  You have to feel a bit sorry for Nader, inasmuch as he can’t seem to have a meaningful conversation with humans anymore.  In the second, Cardozo tells what he thinks of Nader and his opponents.  Those who have seen Brin-Brin’s videos will note that he looks just like Brin-Brin, except for a yellow stripe between the eyes and some less tidy tail feathers.

Polly want hemp sandals and a tofu burger?

Yesterday I wrote about Frank Buckles, the last US doughboy from World War I.  Today I read a short Wall Street Journal piece on what we can learn from his experience:

There’s a tendency to talk of these men mainly as our “last links” to the war that was meant to end all wars. But they are also living reminders that much worse was still to come, because the victors failed to prevent the rise of the totalitarian regimes in Russia and Germany, the fascists in Italy and the militarists in Japan, and because the U.S. withdrew from its global responsibilities. Not least among the victims of those errors was Mr. Buckles himself, who spent three years as a civilian prisoner of the Japanese when he was trapped in the Philippines during World War II.

Click here if you want to read the rest of the piece:  Soldiers of the Great War

And now for something completely different, as John Cleese used to say.  Regular readers will know I like to post stories and videos about parrots, because I have one myself.  Today I saw a news story about a Quaker parrot that saved the life of a choking two-year-old, by talking and making a fuss until it got the babysitter’s attention.  Here’s the video that appeared on Yahoo! about it:

Talking Parrot Saves Choking Toddler

WWI Plus Ninety Years

On this day in 1918, World War I ended.  The original commemoration of this event was called Armistice Day, until it was expanded to include the honoring of veterans from all wars involving the United States; then it became Veteran’s Day.  Last February, I announced here that there is only one living US veteran from World War I left.  Now I can tell you a little more; he’s a 107-year-old fellow in Charles Town, WV named Frank Buckles.  I found an article on him in Wikipedia, and I was impressed to read that he also fought in the Philippines during World War II; the Japanese captured him and held him for three years in a camp named Los Banos.  So let us all give one more salute to a real American hero — it may be our last chance.  Let us not forget why we’re free, as the saying goes:

If you can read this, thank a teacher.

If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.

I’ve also been hearing in the news that yesterday was the 233rd anniversary of the founding of the Marine Corps.  It’s an interesting story, so I’d like to know why the media didn’t tell it on previous anniversaries.  Apparently the USMC is one of the best ideas to come out of a bar, in this case a Philadelphia tavern that no longer exists, called the Tun Tavern.  Here’s what one history webpage said about the event:

On November 10, 1775, Robert Mullan, the proprietor of the Tavern and son of Peggy Mullan, was commissioned by an act of Congress to raise the first two battalions of Marines, under the leadership of Samuel Nicholas, the first appointed Commandant of the Continental Marines. Nicholas’s grandfather was also a member of the Tun Tavern Lodge of Free and Accepted Masons and it is this relationship between Mullan, Nicholas and the Tavern which has resulted in Tun Tavern being acknowledged as the birthplace of the United States Marine Corps. There are an estimated three million active and retired U.S. Marines worldwide who have been exposed in their military training to the historical significance of Tun Tavern. Each year on November 10th, around the world Marines toast the Marine’s birthplace on the most significant date in the history of the Corps.

And finally, would you believe another pyramid has been found at Saqqara already? Earlier this year, a pyramid was found at ancient Egypt’s most important cemetery, and identified as belong to Menkauhor, an obscure V dynasty pharaoh. Now one has turned up near the pyramid of Teti, the first pharaoh of the VI dynasty. You don’t find missing pyramids every day, but I won’t be surprised if people start thinking you can, after reading these stories. The latest is thought to belong to the mother of Teti, Queen Sesheshet. It was probably 45 feet high and 72 feet wide originally, but now only 16 feet of the structure is left, and it escaped attention because it was buried in the sand. I visited Saqqara in 1979, and I can testify it is possible to lose a pyramid in that oversized sandbox; indeed, Teti’s pyramid is so worn down that it looks like a sand dune.

My only gripe about the story is that one of the videos accompanying it says the pyramid is 4,300 years old, while another says it is 4,700 years old. Gosh, I know Egyptologists disagree on dates, but I didn’t think there’d be that much of a spread in mainstream opinions. The chronology I use would make the pyramid 2,200 years old, but that’s another story.

Egypt Unveils Discovery of 4,300-Year-Old Pyramid

It has been quite chilly here since a cold front came through on Friday, to the point that nobody wants to go outside without a jacket.  40s or 50s in the day, 30s at night.  We may get our first snow of the season this week if the clouds come back.

The price of gasoline continues to fall.  When we were driving around yesterday, I saw stations offering gas for as little as $1.81 a gallon.  That’s the lowest I’ve seen since I moved here, nearly two and a half years ago.  However, when I listened to the news on the radio, they said the national average is around $2.30.  Normally the difference between local and national prices isn’t that drastic, so I checked on the website GasBuddy.com.  GasBuddy reported that today, some Lexington stations had dropped their price another dime, to $1.71.  And that’s not all; it’s cheaper here than anywhere else in Kentucky, and Kentucky currently has the fifth lowest average price; only four states have a lower average price than we do.  And even in the city with the lowest average price, Tulsa, Oklahoma, they don’t have any stations at $1.71 yet; their cheapest is $1.75.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the folks in other states think we went back to riding horses!

Speaking of horses, I also heard a traffic report on the radio this morning, which announced a horse running loose, on the back road I happened to be taking to work.  When I got to where the horse was sighted, it wasn’t around; all I saw was its “calling card” in the other lane.  I’ll bet there aren’t too many cities around where a horse becomes a traffic hazard like that.  In Florida I was told to watch for alligators in the road!

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