By now you must have found out that the Internet is the greatest way to waste time that has ever been invented. Any link you click on can be full of surprises, and while you’re looking at that fun distraction, why did you come online just now, anyway? And I hate to imagine how confusing it can be for those with any kind of Attention Deficit Disorder.
Well, now here’s another way to have fun online – Amazon product reviews! Not book reviews; those are dry reading, and only useful if you’re thinking of buying the book. I don’t mean music/CD reviews either. Chances are you know what kind of music you’re getting already, especially if you can play a thirty-second sound sample. What I’m talking about are the reviews for all the other products Amazon.com sells on the side, merchandise you probably don’t think about when you hear Amazon mentioned.
A month or two ago I read the reviews for the five-pound bag of Haribo Sugar-free Gummi Bears. My goodness, this has to be the most devilish candy ever made! No wonder there’s a warning label. As one with type 2 diabetes, I’d be inclined to try these before trying some more conventional candy, but after reading the reviews, I know this is a treat only my enemy should have. The folks writing these seem to be inspired by the same wit as those who indulge in bathroom graffiti. If you’re like me, reading these accounts of how the Gummi Bears gave them bellyaches, diarrhea and flatulence will make you both laugh and cry!
Now I have been directed to another piece of creative writing. In this case it’s a guy named James O. Thach who has written reviews for several products unrelated to one another. Personally I don’t think he bought all 31 products he has reviewed so far (one is a $40,000 TV), but oh, what a wit! And he writes about most of them as if he didn’t use them for their intended purpose; with the child’s princess costume, for example, it sounds like he bought it for himself to wear! I wonder if he has a blog, too? For a good time, check them out.