Why Is There No Bigfoot Roadkill?

Here’s a new addition to my page of pet peeves:

Why is there no Bigfoot roadkill? For more than thirty years I have been told there’s a big ape out there in the American woods, called Bigfoot, Sasquatch, the Skunk Ape, and various other names. Now you can get a good idea of what kind of animals live in a place, by what gets killed on the road: squirrels, opossums, cats, dogs, rabbits, racoons, deer, etc. In Florida I saw armadillo road pizza very often, but I don’t see it in Kentucky; that alone tells me it’s probably too cold for armadillos in Kentucky. On the other hand, I see (and smell) skunks far more often in Kentucky. But I have never heard of a Bigfoot getting killed on the road anywhere. Even if Bigfoot was rare, it would happen occasionally; deaths along Alligator Alley and other Everglades highways were the reason why the Florida panther was put on the endangered species list. Heck, do you remember how Bigfoot was introduced in the movie “Harry and the Hendersons?” He was hit by a family car! But nothing like that seems to have happened in real life.

Along that line, it’s time for true Bigfoot believers to produce some hard evidence. How about some hair samples, for a start? And why aren’t there any Bigfoot bones or teeth anywhere, except maybe for the ones anthropologists labelled as coming from Gigantopithecus and Meganthropus? We’ve seen enough footprints and fuzzy pictures, so if you want us to continue believing, show us the body!

One response to “Why Is There No Bigfoot Roadkill?

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