Dumb Questions Asked of Park Rangers

I guess dumb questions are inevitable, if you’re somehow involved with the people-pleasing business.  I saw this list yesterday, and immediately thought of my brother, because he works in a park near the Everglades.  Quote:

Questions Asked of Park Rangers

These questions were actually asked of various park rangers across the continent.

Everglades National Park:

•         “Are the alligators real?”

•         “Are the baby alligators for sale?”

•         “Where are the rides?”

•         “What time does the two o’clock bus leave?”

Grand Canyon National Park:

•         “Was this man-made?”

•         “Do you light it up at night?”

•         “I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom — where is it?”

•         “Is the mule train air conditioned?”

•         “So where are the faces of the presidents?”

•         “So is that Canada over there?”

Denali National Park:

•         “What time to you feed the bears?”

•         “What’s so wonderful about Wonder Lake?”

•         “Can you show me where the Yeti lives?”

•         “How often do you mow the tundra?”

Mesa Verde National Park:

•         “Did people build this, or did Indians?”

•         “Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?”

•         “Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?”

•         “Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?”

Yellowstone National Park:

•         “Does Old Faithful erupt at night?”

•         “Do you put the animals away at night?”

•         “How do you turn it on?”

•         “When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?”

Carlsbad Caverns National Park:

•         “How much of the cave is underground?”

•         “So what’s in the unexplored part of the cave?”

•         “Does it ever rain in here?”

•         “So what is this —just a hole in the ground?”

Yosemite National Park:

•         “Where are the cages for the animals?”

•         “What time of year do you turn on Yosemite Falls?”

•         “What happened to the other half of Half Dome?”

•         “Can I get a picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?”

Banff National Park:

•         “Is that food coloring in the lakes?”

•         “When did you build the glaciers?”

•         “How much for a moose?”

•         “Where are the igloos?”

•         “How do the elk know they’re supposed to cross at the Elk Crossing signs?”

•         “At what elevation does an elk become a moose?”

•         “Are the bears with collars tame?”

•         “Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?”

•         “Is it ok to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent?”

•         “Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?”

•         “Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?”

•         “How far is Banff from Canada?”

•         “What’s the best way to see Canada in a day?”

•         “When we enter British Columbia, do we have to convert our money to British pounds?”

•         “Where can I buy a raccoon hat? All Canadians own one, don’t they?”

•         “Are there phones in Banff?”

•         “So it’s eight kilometers away. Is that in miles?”

•         “We’re on the decibel system, you know.”

•         “Is that two kilometers by foot or by car?”

Glacier National Park:

•         “When do the deer become elk?”

•         “When do the glaciers go by?”

Sutter’s Fort State Historic Park, Sacramento

•         “Where are the tracks the wagon trains ran on?”

•         “Where do you cook?” / “We cook over the fire here.” / “Don’t your pans melt?’

Unquote:  I answered the last question regarding Mesa Verde in Chapter 2 of my history book.  The Indians settled Colorado because it had a river running through a desert, making it the best place in the present-day United States to start a civilization.

4 responses to “Dumb Questions Asked of Park Rangers

  1. Is there a url or link to send to my coworkers? Everyone who has been a park ranger for any period of time has their own stories of questions like these. Some I can’t believe people asked unless in jest.

    People ask me all the time where they can see animals. It is not a zoo, and the animals come and go however they like.

    People also ask me about the weather. I am a park ranger, not a weatherman. We only pay attention to the weather from June 1st to December 1st. (Hurricane season.) Other than that, I don’t care, because it has to be better than wherever those people came from; otherwise they wouldn’t be here.

    But my own favorite strange question was when I worked at Fort Morgan, Alabama: If they were so short back then, how did the build the fort so tall?


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