Animal Lovers in the Military (Literally)

Last October 3, I posted this quote about gays in the military:

"When I joined the military it was illegal to be homosexual, then it became optional, and now it’s legal.  I’m getting out before the Democrats make it mandatory." — Gunnery Sgt Harry Berres, USMC

For the record, the ancient Greek city-state of Thebes went that far with their elite unit, the Theban Sacred Band.  It was wiped out by Philip of Macedon, in the battle of Chaeronea (338 B.C.).  To my knowledge, this is the first time in the 23 centuries since Chaeronea that homosexuality in any nation’s armed forces was encouraged.

Now another step has been made in that direction.  Earlier this week the Senate voted 93-7 to approve a defense spending bill, without realizing that it will also lift the ban on sodomy and bestiality in the armed forces.  John McCain and Lindsey Graham, two senators that have always supported our men & women in uniform, said they were taken by surprise; they are saying they didn’t know the repeal measure was in the bill.  Here are two links to the story:

Defense bill repeals military law on sodomy

‘On What?’–McCain Says He Didn’t Know Defense Bill He Approved Repealed Military Ban on Sodomy, Bestiality

When I read “The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire,” I remember Edward Gibbon saying that if you fight the same enemy long enough, you will come to resemble him.  His example was the Roman emperor Diocletian, who introduced crowns, silk robes and silk slippers as fashions the emperors could wear; previously the Persian kings wore them, but the emperors did not.  Our drones have taken pictures in Afghanistan of Taliban members having sex with cows and donkeys; will our troops now be expected to do likewise?  If so, I hope the US never fights an enemy that practices necrophilia.

The Snow Cone Defense

Back in the 1990s, wherever I took my car to the gas station for a fill-up, my daughter Lindy would ask me to bring back a treat for her (or I would just buy it if she came along).  She liked best anything that she described as “cold and sweet.”  I remember in particular the time when I came home in the middle of a thunderstorm.  I had my hands full, which included a 7-11 Slurpee for Lindy.  Because I could not open the door without dropping something, I knocked.  Lindy answered the door, and smiled; without saying a word, she took the Slurpee and closed the door again!

Now apparently the state of Michigan has a shortage on things that are cold and sweet, because our Department of Homeland Security, in its infinite wisdom, bought thirteen snow cone machines for that state, at $900 each.  So that’s what my tax dollars are paying for.  Isn’t Michigan supposed to be one of the coldest states in our nation?  For a humorous slant on the whole story, here’s what Steve Colbert had to say about it:

Michigan’s Snow Cone Machines

Now here’s my response to Michigan.  Don’t worry, Michigan.  The rest of the US knows that you are our first line of defense against Canada. We remember how you defended us in the Upper Peninsula War.  Now you will be ready if the Canadians attack again.  Of course the snow cone machines would get more use if given to folks like the Border Patrol in Arizona, but that’s another story.